By Julie Bradley
I was a happy child. The youngest and most spoiled of 6 members. I loved my mother and there was not much that I wanted that she did not find a way for me to have. Christmas was special because I was loaded with presents not only from my parents but from the many friends they had. I was a carefree child with absolutely no apprehension about the world around me, although I do remember being amazed by it all and just wondering many times what it was all about. My mother would brush my hair and cuddle and hold me all the while reinforcing her love and protection. I was however very spoiled and very naive because at the age of 10 I know and see now that I was much younger emotionally.
August 27, 1967 I woke up to lots of noise and confusion
I walked out of my bedroom into our living room to watch my mother die of a massive heart attack. I was 10 years old! My world has not been the same since. I have gotten in touch with my inner child. She trusts NO ONE, she is apprehensive over everything, and most of the time she is angry at me. This has effected most of my relationships and decisions. I have been guilty of spending too much money and have this terrific need for instant gratification that if not received results many times in anger and out lashes at the people I love the most.
When my mom died I felt abandoned and alone and I now look at ever thing and everyone as "temporary". My inner child is angry and very insatiable. She never allows herself to be happy for any amount of time and continues to sabotage the things and people who are actual blessings in her life.
Many may wonder why I am writing this and I will tell you. It takes courage to come face to face with the hurt, angry person within oneself, that has been injured and does not know or understand. It takes the adult person to embrace this inner child and comfort. There is no person other than ones self that can quench the need for this little person that was so damaged. And it is so unfair to expect another to just by some miracle make it right.
I love that little person inside me more than my mother ever could. More than any other human on this world ever could. I will conquer her anger, sadness, disappointments and grief and watch the true wonder of her come forward.
I tell anybody that has this issue to meditate and journal. Your inner child wants to talk to you. LISTEN and you will learn the most incredible things about yourself. Then you can grow and be healthy.
http://askjulie.net
Rate This Article:
Top Rated Articles:
Related Articles: